Ape Think

Truthful Tuesday: I’m sick of kittens.  

These two shit machines have broken glass, sent piles of CDs crashing to the floor from high shelves, ripped up yards of wall decor, and never fail to wake me with an adorable mixed martial arts contest on my face.

Here’s one little story: We gave them both collars with bells so we could hear them, but Weeby lost his, resulting in his getting trod upon. I looked for it for a few days before giving up and going out and getting another. When I got back from the store, Chinaco was running around the house vomiting. Like seriously, vomiting, running full speed into another room, and repeating. Of course, Weeby is chasing him, and running through the vomit. So, they both got thrown into the bathroom while we cleaned up the mess, during which we discovered that Chinaco had eaten both of my earplugs. After all was clean, the kittens were released, Weeby got his new collar, Chinaco was fine, and my wife and I went for a walk. When we got back, Weeby’s old, missing collar was sitting in the entry hall, smack dab in the middle of the floor where we’d be sure to see it as soon as we got home.

I want my old, big, lazy cats back. These guys are assholes.